Lost in Translation

I really think I could launch a new career as a menu translator. I think that most restaurants rely on Google Translate and it’s not a good result. When I go to a restaurant here they sometimes ask what language menu I would like. I always say English and Spanish because while I know a lot of Spanish foods, I don’t know all. But if I get only the English menu, I’m really lost.

Recently, I looked up the menu of a restaurant recommended by a friend. Here are a few of the specialties (as listed on the English version of the menu):

• OLD COW RIB
• OLD COW SIRLOIN STEAK
• ENTRECOT OLD COW IN THE TERRACOTA OVEN

I think maybe they would like to say “aged beef.” Old cow is not a terribly appetizing menu item. I’m also not sure what they mean by another item, “LOBSTER TO THE SIRLOIN.”

Many restaurants calls the menu “the letter” in English. I guess people can figure it out, but wouldn’t it just be clearer to put “the menu”? Many of the mis-translations can be figured out, but they’re so funny. I don’t understand why they don’t go the extra mile to have a native speaker give it a once-over. Other examples: tuny fish (I’ve seen this one a lot), mixed fish frying, fried laminated artichokes, mushroom bikini (a bikini is a grilled sandwich, why not say sandwich?), egg poché of farmers. Some are just spelling errors: triple coocked potatoes. There are so many more. I’m going to start a list.

Random stuff from this week:

The mean old woman who works at the bookstore where they oddly take in laundry and alterations, was actually nice to me and fixed the zipper on my heavy coat, saving me time and money. I’d taken it there to have it sent off, but she repaired it for me with some needle-nosed pliers while I waited.

The wind is pretty constant, but not terrible. There have only been a few flying-nun days so far when the furniture moved across the balcony. One day, I was wearing some dangly earrings while I walked the dogs and it honestly felt like the wind was going to blow them out of my ears!

Last week, I got my Foreigner Identification Card without having to drive to a small town in the mountains! I kept checking the official website for appointments, and a town near to me finally popped up. The first time I got my residency card in 2018, it took me three trips to get it right, but this time, voila. I’m legal.

I wondered if any new potato chip varieties had come out since my last taste test and I found a few. I need to have another American here to help me judge. Maybe in the future.

Have a great week!